My life goings on-emotional wreck

I am going to start this week with my "life blog". I got the results back from my amniocentisis Thursday. The diagnosis was not good. My son has something called Triploidy. I was told he would either die while inside of me, and I would have to deliver him after, or he would die soon after birth. I went from being told my baby may have Down's Syndrome, to being told he will not live. There is a very slim, almost non existent chance that the abnormality is being caused by my placenta. The doctor said it would be a miracle, if this is the case. We are praying for that miracle. I am trying so hard to believe he is going to be ok, but living minute by minute, wondering if that kick is the last one I will feel, is excrutiating. I am not looking for sympathy, though the sympathy, faith, and compassion my friends and family have shown us has astounded me. I decided to sell bracelets and if he lives, all proceeds will go to Children's Miracle Network, if he doesn't, they will go towards his funeral. Within 2 hours, I had orders for all 200 bracelets I had ordered, and had to order more. I have never felt like we had people we could rely and this situation has just shown me that there are so many who care. The only person, it seems, who does not believe in Castan, is the specialist who gave me the results. He was so dead seat that Cas will die, that he told me "since the chances of him living are so slim, I see no reason to follow up." I was in shock. Where was the compassion doctors are supposed to have? Oh well, I choose to believe that jerk is wrong, and when I deliver my baby boy, I will call him up and tell him so. Time for me to get to bed. Castan is currently kicking my laptop, so I think he decided I am done with homework for the night. :-)