UPDATES on Castan

If anyone would like to keep updated: http://www.facebook.com/BelieveInCastan

My life goings on-baby steps

Everything is going ok. My girls have been hellions the whole time I have been in the hospital as well as while we have been staying in the Ronald McDonald House. I think they just need to get back on schedule but who knows when that will happen. My brother (and foster child) has made it his job to make sure I am stressed to the max. He started with skipping school and getting suspended but has most recently broken his leg and torn his ligaments. My husband has been my strength. If it weren't for him I would have lost my mind...If I haven't already. The one thing I have been truly happy about is how well my little Superman has been doing. They daily increase how much milk he is fed. He was moved to a bed with no humidity 4 days earlier than normal premies. He is on 23% oxygen and has had no issues with breathing. I am now allowed to hold him once per shift! The 2 things we are still working on are the valve in his heart closing (the echo was not positive it was closed so he has to have another) and him gaining weight (he has been fluctuating but has not got below 1lb 11oz.) For him being only 10 days old and the doctors saying he had only a 10% chance to live before I had him I think he is doing pretty friggin amazing! I love that little guy.

Liver please?

The founder of Facebook decided to try to help rally people to become organ donors. On average 18 people per day die awaiting a transplant. According to organdonor.gov 100 million people are organ donors. Facebook is adding links to offer to be organ donors and to tell your story of how you chose to become a donor. Facebook is a possible way to get donors in touch with recipients. The only issue is making sure people actually register.

This is very interesting. I always thought of Facebook as just a "fun" site. I use it to rant about things and to show off my kids. Never in a million years would I have thought about posting about becoming a donor. I am on the fence about becoming a donor. I think it is an amazing thing for someone to do. I just don't know if I want my family to have to go through the possible grief that may come with them making the decision to "pull the plug" and give my organs to someone. I am interested in becoming one but I would have to think some more on it.

This plucks at my heart strings

Baby Avery was not expected to live past age 2. Her dad decided to keep a bucket list of things they hoped she would get to do. They were meant to be lighthearted and hopeful. After starting the blog to let friends and family know how Avery was doing with her disorder her dad added the bucket list. Her genetic disorder caused her to have pulmonary issues causing her lung to collapse and put her in cardiac arrest. The bucket list got 2.4 million views. The readers thought it was Avery's mother who wrote about Avery. Baby Avery passed away at 6 months old on April 30.

This story strikes very close to home. I feel for Avery's parents. To know that your baby may not live is such a horrible experience. No parent should ever have to know that pain. It leaves you feeling helpless. I hope Avery's parents can eventually feel peace. I refuse to say that everything happens for a reason because I can't stand when people say that to me. I know it wouldn't matter to them what I think since I don't know the family but I sincerely hate that they had to lose their little girl. I do think she is in a better place and she is no longer in pain. That is the only plus side to something so tragic.

My life goings on-Superman makes his debut!

This week has been a crazy one. Thursday night my contractions started to get closer together at around 7:30. I have a high tolerance for pain but they got so bad that I was crying and could not get comfortable. I tried getting demerol but it didn't relieve the pain. My nurse checked my cervix twice and there was no change. They thought I had an infection in my uterus so they drew my blood to test it. Finally at 4:15 am the nurse came back and said my white count was high so she was hooking me up to antibiotics which should slow down the contractions. She checked my cervix one last and I was finally dilated-to 4-5cm. She rushed me to labor and delivery. They prepped everything and gave me the epidural at 4:50. The nurse checked me again and I was fully dilated and ready to push. After 1 single push Castan Bradlee Bastian Brown made his appearance at 5:03 am. He weighed a whopping 1lb 12oz and is 14 in long. They got him over to the heat lamp and he immediately started crying. This was amazing as they didn't think his lungs would be developed at all. They laid my little superman on my chest and he whimpered like a little puppy. Castan has done so well!! He was taken off of the ventilator yesterday. His jaundice is going down. He has had no issues with breathing. My little guy is astounding everyone!!! Hopefully tomorrow he will be taken  off the bili light. Well time for me to go to bed so I can get up early to go see him.

420

This article is about a 4:20 celebration in Colorado. This celebration had gone on in the past. On average 10-12000 people had attended. This year was a different story. The police closed the campus to outsiders and put a fish based fertilizer down to disuade people from gathering. There were still people in attendance. Before the event happened 3 students were arrested. At the normal 4:20 time a man tried to rally the crowd to start the smoke off as usual but then ducked under the tape and took off across campus. This year it seemed no one got their smoke on.

I don't understand why they changed things. I am not a pot smoker. I don't care for it. However I don't see what the reasoning was. They let the rally happen in the past with no problems yet all of the sudden they decided not to this year? I don't think everyone should run out and be stoned 24/7 but I don't see what pot hurts. The people I know who smoke are all very calm and laid back. They never hurt anyone and don't like confrontation. No one has died of a marijuana overdose. Yet it's illegal. Whereas people die from alcohol poisoning all the time. There are drunk drivers. Alcohol causes aggression. But it's legal. Makes no sense to me.

My life goings on-not so hot

So Tuesday my water broke. As some of you may have read I am not due until July 4th. They gave me steriods to help develop his lungs and antibiotics to decrease my risk of infection. I was having contractions every 20-30 mins when I first got in but they have stopped. I am in the hospital until I have Castan. Wednesday I talked to the neonatologist here in the NICU. He gave Cas a 10% chance to live. If he was a normal 29 weeker he would have an 80-85% chance but because his disorder made him extra small his lungs will be extra small. The doctor was very compassionate and explained to us the options we have when Cas is born. He said he will do water we want him to even if he thinks it isn't helping Castan any.

My daughters are not handling all of this very well at all. Especially my oldest. She cried so hard at church Wednesday night that her teacher had to get my step mom to take her home early. I asked her Thursday why she had cried. Her little lip started quivering and her eyes filled with tears when she said "because I was worried about you and if Castan is going to be sick and have problems." I felt like my heart was shattering. This 7 year old little girl of mine was worried about me and her baby brother. She should be trying to sneak candy or worrying about what dress to wear. So I explained the options that the doctor gave us. I asked her and my 5 year old daughter if they would rather we just spend whatever time we have with Castan and just let him go to heaven so he wouldn't be sick or if they wanted us to try to fight to keep him alive. Both of them immediately said they wanted us to fight for him. I told them that's what we plan to do but that the doctor said if we see that Cas wasn't going to make it that they could say goodbye to him. My baby girl said "good that's all I care about because I didn't get to say goodbye to my other brother before he died." This is all so heartwrenching. I hate that my girls are having to go through all this turmoil again. They are so young yet are acting like little adults. I hope everything is ok for their sakes.